That’s right! After 16 years of marriage I am still madly in love with my beautiful wife Alisa.
She’s not perfect and yet she is all mine. She has given me her heart, her soul, and her love even when I wasn’t worthy of them.
Her support on my crazy ideas (athletic, business, and family) is amazing, she has been afantasticmom to our two kids, calls me out when I’ve pushed the limits, and most of all loves our Lord and has brought me closer to Him.
In all of that she’s only wanted to divorce me once. That was after I had taken a 4 1/2 monthsojournon the Pacific Crest Trail. Yep, I backpacked from Mexico to Canada without here. Divorce has never come up again in our marriage as we vowed at that moment to play on the same team.
We’ve gone through a lot together over the last 16 years (we’ve now been married 23 years). Make sure to listen about our past in Episode 004 of the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show because we know that if we have gone through tough times you probably have too.
In honor of my wonderful wife I bring to you16 Reasons Why I Still Love My Wife.
1. She Makes Me Laugh
Alisa is and always will be more serious than me. She said it during Laughter for the Soul and yet she makes me laugh. There are little things she does that bring a chuckle to me and that is awesome!
2. Her Eyes Sparkle
Her eyes are a window to her soul and they sparkle as we communicate and dig into our emotional intimacy. It is during these conversations that I get to witness something absolutely beautiful.
3. During Tough Times She Never Gave Up On Us
Huge, huge, huge. During the darkest valleys that we have gone through Alisa never gave up on us. Don’t get me wrong, there were tough conversations, tough situations, and nights where we didn’t want to be next to each other. Even though she always wanted our marriage to last.
4. We’ve Grown Closer Together
5 years ago we took on the 60 Days of Sex Challengeand our marriage has never been the same. Every year since then we have done a 7 Days of Sex Challengeto bring us emotionally, spiritually, and physically closer together.
5. Her Cooking Has Gotten Much Better
Frozen fish sticks, frozen pizza, bean burritos, and pasta with Rago sauce (I’m Italian) was what we ate our first few years of marriage. Talk about tough times. Over the years we have learned to cook together, which has brought enjoyment to both of us. On top of that we eat much better around here.
6. We Dream Together
Both of us dream, share those dreams and then go after them. We’ve achieved many, we’re working on some right now, and there are dreams that are just a glimmer on our horizon.
7. Sex For 60 Days
We had sex 40 out of the 60 days. That is amazing, but what’s beyond amazing is that Alisa said “Yes” after she said “No”. Since them we have completed 13 challenges ranging from 7 days to 30 days over the past 12 years.
8. We Got Close in a Two-Person Tent
Early in our marriage we did quite a bit of backpacking. We backpacked all over Southern California, Yosemite National Park, Sequoia National Park and many other areas.You really get to know your spouse when you’re sleeping in a 4’x8′ space. These are memories that will last forever.
9. She Trusted God’s Plan For Us When I Didn’t
Alisa’s rock solid faith in God has been inspiring to witness. When I would question God’s plan she was the one who listened and quieted my soul.
10. Warmth of Her Hugs
It is in her arms I’m safe and know that either sharing my joys or sorrows I am loved. Plus hugs are so beneficial to both husband and wife. She also has amazing arms from working out. We don’t workout together as we have two different workout styles. 🙂
11. We Can Cry Together
Tough as it was for me to show this emotion in our marriage, I have now come to realize it is one of the most important to show. Crying has blown up our marriage by letting us know that we are vulnerable and need each other.
12. Long Conversations Have Intertwined Our Souls
Little did I know when we first got married that having long conversations would have such an impact on our lives. It was tough to do this as I wasn’t the one to sit and want to talk. When we began to ask and answer questions that is when we grew closer. Get your FREE copy of Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples.
13. Changing It Up
Over the years it is really easy to get into the same routine with our sex lives. Alisa has always been willing to make our bedroom a sanctuary. These changes have made a huge impact on our marriage.
14. She Doesn’t Keep Score
This has been a big breakthrough for us. We serve each other instead of keeping score on what we have accomplished around the house. There are no more her jobs and my jobs. They are all “our jobs” and we make sure they get completed.
15. No Rejection Zone
Alisa made a choice during our 60 Days of Sex Challenge to make our bedroom a no rejection zone. Now when I initiate sex I’m no longer left to wait for her to finish in the bathroom, a book, or wait for me to fall asleep.
16. Love at First Sight
I wake up each and every morningnext to my beautiful wife and I’m remind why I’m one lucky guy. I fall in love with her all over again. Then the kids wake up and who knows what the days going to bring. ; )
Our Love Will Last
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proudor rude.It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.Love will last forever!
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New Living Translation)
What is it about your spouse that you still love since you said “I Do”?
Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!
In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.
Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!
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- She is still my biggest fan and supporter since the day I know her.
- She is gentle, peaceful, kind, emphatic and understanding.
- We can talk about anything and she truly understands me on a deep level.
- She respects me and accepts me with all my shortcomings.
Contrary to popular opinion, people who say they are still madly in love with their spouses after more than two decades are not crazy. At least, some of them aren't.Do people fall out of love after years of marriage? ›
It is possible for two individuals to discover that they're not made for each other even after getting married. Dr Varsha Patkar, a Clinical Psychologist ratifies that our feelings do change over time. The intensity of emotions also varies depending upon the circumstances.What is the walkaway wife syndrome? ›
There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.What makes your wife love you more? ›
Be Loyal To Her
Loyalty and trust are the base of any happy and successful marriage. So, always try to make your wife believe that you are loyal to her at any cost so that she can trust you the most. Make your wife believe that you are always available for her both physically and emotionally whenever she needs you.
- Listen to her and care about what she has to say.
- Show her physical, non-sexual affection.
- Surprise her with flowers.
- Take her out to dinner (without the kids)
- Buy her a book she's been wanting.
- Write her a love note.
- Wash the dishes.
According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.How often should a 20 year married couple make love? ›
Once a week is a common baseline, experts say. That statistic depends slightly on age: 40- and 50-year-olds tend to fall around that baseline, while 20- to 30-year olds tend to average around twice a week.How often do 20 year old married couples make love? ›
Yes, age can certainly play a factor in one's sex life. Usually, married couples in their 20s have sex 80 times a year, whereas those in their 60s are likely to engage in sex only about 20 times annually. As you and your partner get older, physical changes may start to occur that can dry up your interest in sex.What causes love to fade away in marriage? ›
Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity. The wave of “deadness” that can submerge a relationship after the first thrilling months or years have caused many couples to lose hope, and even look elsewhere for the excitement of newfound intimacy.
Genuine love is profound—it does not come and go every now and then; it is something that is likely to last over time. This does not mean that love cannot fade away, but even when it does, it leaves some scars, or rather potential feelings that can flourish if and when the environment is conducive.How many years do most marriages end? ›
What is the average length of marriage? On average, the length of a marriage in the U.S. is seven to eight years. Some states have a higher rate than others, but the divorce rate for the country is around 50%.What is divorced husband syndrome? ›
However, in some cases, a spouse may announce that he or she wants a divorce, leaving the other spouse completely blindsided, which is sometimes known as “Sudden Divorce Syndrome.” While the someone may be shocked to hear that their spouse wants a divorce, there may have been plenty of signs that the marriage was far ...What is second wife syndrome? ›
What is Second Wife Syndrome? Essentially, second wife syndrome when a second wife, or partner, of someone with kids feels marginalized, left out, and unimportant within the family dynamic.What is miserable husband syndrome? ›
Miserable husband syndrome is a colloquial term, not an actual diagnosable medical condition that can be treated or cured. It's a lot like a midlife crisis or work burnout. Essentially, miserable husband syndrome is a set of circumstances that can cause someone to feel overwhelmed or stressed out.What I love most about her? ›
- I love your sense of humor and playfulness. ...
- I love how you don't wear a mask and keep it real with me.
- I love how you inspire me to be more than I am.
- I love how your smile brightens up my day more than the sun ever could.
- I love the way your eyes smile when you laugh.
- You'll have a two-person team to handle everything. ...
- You can take on the world together and always cheer each other on. ...
- Legal rights. ...
- Financial security. ...
- Someone to create new traditions with. ...
- Lifelong cuddle buddy/sex partner. ...
- Spousal telepathy.
- I like how we can spend time doing nothing together, and it's still exciting.
- We both are a lot similar to each other in many ways.
- You complete me. ...
- I feel like I'm having the best time with you.
- Somehow you never get tired of me, making me feel important.
Appreciate that your spouse gives you moments to enjoy some alone time. Appreciate that your spouse trusts you. As much as you can be glad your spouse is trustworthy, be glad that they trust you too. Show gratitude that they let things go.